


Blank Space

by TurquoiseTerrier



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, M/M, Past Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:55:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseTerrier/pseuds/TurquoiseTerrier
Summary: January 2018. Aaron’s moved on, and Robert suddenly finds himself a single dad. Can they find their way back to each other, or will circumstances keep them apart?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Original Male Character(s), Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 266
Kudos: 345





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, another new one. I will get back to my others though, I promise.
> 
> In the meantime, let me know what you think!

**5th January 2018**

Robert sits down at the bar, accepting the pint Charity hands to him with a tired smile, dropping the money into her other, outstretched hand. A cacophony of noise at the door catches his attention and he turns his head to see.

Wishes he hadn’t almost immediately.

Aaron. With his new boyfriend, Darren or whatever his name is. Drew. That’s it. Drew.

Drew is bigger than Aaron, taller, broader. He clearly spends time at the gym. Not that he’s a muscle bound meathead type, he’s just… got that look about him.

Not that Robert’s paid that much attention of course.

None of his business after all.

Not anymore.

He watches surreptitiously as Drew leads Aaron to one of the booths, arm draped around Aaron’s shoulders. Chas, Liv and Paddy follow suit, Gerry bringing up the rear as they all pile into the seats by the front windows of the pub.

Robert realises that Aaron hasn’t spotted him, not yet. Not wanting to ruin Aaron’s birthday, he starts to shuffle sideways, off the bar stool.

He’s not quite quick enough. Aaron looks up suddenly, unexpectedly, spotting him and his face changes, the smile he’d been sporting changing to an expression of discomfort, unease almost at the sight of Robert.

Robert offers a pained smile in return, shifting off the stool swiftly and making a quick exit through the doors at the back of the pub.

He doesn’t look back; can’t. Doesn’t want to see that look on Aaron’s face again, so far away from a few days ago when Aaron was asking him for help with alibis for him and Cain. How can so much change in just a few days, he wonders.

Reaching the car park at the back of the pub, he spares a glance at the ring on his left hand.

Making a decision, he slips it free of his finger, tucking it securely alongside the other in his wallet.

Aaron’s moved on, he thinks to himself. The last thing he wants to do is make that more difficult for him.

**12th January 2018**

A week later and Aaron is further from his mind than usual. It’s not much; Aaron is, despite everything, a topic that his brain likes to mull over for at least 90% of his day.

Right now though, the small bundle lying on his back along Robert’s thighs, staring up at him like he’s the only thing that matters in the world has taken over.

Robert is the only thing that matters to tiny Seb now, Robert reminds himself. The deaths of his mother, aunt, grandfather and cousin in a 4x4 versus articulated lorry crash had seen to that.

Robert is, literally, all that the tiny two month old has in the world now.

He’s not going to lie… the thought is terrifying.

“You alright?” Vic asks him, coming to perch on the arm of the sofa, near to him but not too close.

Robert shrugs one shoulder, never moving his gaze away from his son. “I didn’t want this,” he says to her. “I didn’t want it to happen like this.”

“I know you didn’t,” she slides off of the arm to sit next to him, tight against his side as she reaches across to tickle Seb’s belly, the baby laughing and giggling as she does. “But this is where we are now,” she tells him. “You’ve got me, and Diane, and we’re going to help you, alright?”

Robert nods dumbly. “I don’t know what to do Vic,” he says. “I just wanted to stop them leaving, I didn’t… is this my fault?” He asks, turning his head to look at her, meeting her gaze.

“Of course not,” she tells him. “You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.”

He nods again. He wants to believe her.

Can’t.

**19th January 2018**

He’s seen Aaron precisely once since the crash.

Since everything changed.

It hadn’t been a social call; Aaron turning up on his doorstep with Gerry brandishing his phone had been unexpected to say the least.

That voicemail had been… very enlightening, however, and as much as he hates to say it, he’s glad.

Knowing that Lachlan was the ultimate cause of his own demise alongside the rest of the White family had been a relief.

Fighting with Seb’s pram, Robert finally manages to maneuver it through Vic’s front door and up the short path to the gate. Looking up, he sees Aaron, standing across the road in front of the Woolpack, watching them.

Their eyes lock; Robert’s hopeful gaze meeting Aaron’s guarded one.

“Aaron!”

The shout breaks the moment, Aaron tearing his eyes from Robert’s, a smile crossing his lips as he turns to Drew, who has appeared on the Woolpack steps. “Coming,” he calls back, jogging up the steps and following Drew inside.

He doesn’t spare Robert a backward glance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I will reply to you all individually tomorrow I promise ❤️
> 
> Let me know what you think!

**6th February 2018**

It’s been a week since he last laid eyes on Aaron, and even longer than that since he’s spoken to his ex-husband.

If he was a betting man, he’d put his life savings on Aaron avoiding him.

The evidence is all there; for all Robert hasn’t been up at the yard as much as usual (trying to settle Seb into a new routine since he didn’t have a clue what Rebecca had been doing... wasn’t that easy), when he is there, Aaron seems to be always leaving, on a scrap run or off to potter around the yard itself, ‘tidying up’.

Honestly, how many times can one man move the entire (massive) pile of copper piping from one side of the yard to the other? It’s getting ridiculous.

When Drew is there it’s even worse. Aaron doesn’t even bother trying to make excuses then, instead resorting to feeble reasons why he’s going to head off home.

If he’s feeling ill that much, he really needs to go and see Dr. Cavanaugh.

Robert would worry what Drew thinks of it all, whether it’s Aaron trying to prove to his new boyfriend that there’s nothing between him and Robert anymore, but the man seems chilled, almost bemused by Aaron’s avoidance tactics.

Drew.

Robert doesn’t know what to make of the man. He doesn’t like his name for a start. Drew is clearly short for Andrew which reminds Robert of Andy.

Not the sort of thoughts he needs in his head, thank you very much.

He just… doesn’t like him. Can’t put his finger on why.

Which probably means that he doesn’t like him because he’s Aaron’s boyfriend, which explains everything. The short lived Dr. Wet Alex had certainly proved that point.

Seb starts to fuss and Robert lifts him out of his pram, shushing the baby as he rocks him in his arms.

He should take him home really, the portacabin isn’t the ideal place for Seb’s afternoon nap but he has got to get some work done at SOME point this week.

Aaron crashes through the door then, coming to a stunned halt when he sees Robert standing there. “Oh,” he mumbles. “I’ll er-“

“Hi,” Robert says.

“I er, I forgot something at home,” Aaron blurts, reversing out of the portacabin faster than he’d entered, the door banging shut behind him so hard it makes Seb wail. It doesn’t close properly, opening again so Robert can hear the tyres of Aaron’s car sliding on the gravel as the engine revs.

Robert swears under his breath, kicking the door shut with his foot and turning his attention to the screaming bundle in his arms.

Yep.

Definitely avoiding him.

**14th February 2018**

He hasn’t seen Aaron at all since that afternoon.

Not once.

Not even the flash of bright orange hi-vis in the corner of his eye.

Aaron doesn’t even seem to be going to work anymore, which is… concerning.

Why is he trying to avoid me so much? Robert asks himself as he strides purposely down the Mill’s driveway. It’s getting beyond ridiculous now.

Banging on the door, he’s vaguely aware that it’s Valentine's Day and Aaron might have plans.

Stuff that, he thinks, banging on the door again.

Aaron eventually appears, rolling his eyes when he sees Robert standing there, opening the door. “What?” Is all Aaron manages to say before Robert pushes past him, making a beeline for the living room. “Come in then,” Aaron mutters sarcastically. “What?” He asks again.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Robert replies, straight to the point.

“I’m not?” Aaron tries.

Robert raises an eyebrow. “Really?” He says incredulously. “You haven’t been at work for a week Aaron, and before that you were making every excuse you could to stay the hell away from me so why? I thought we were friends, I thought that’s what we agreed at Christmas?”

“We did,” Aaron agrees quietly.

“So?”

“I’m not avoiding you,” Aaron repeats. “I’m not.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Aaron scoffs. “Believe what you like mate,” he says. “It’s the truth.”

“Is something wrong?” Robert asks instead.

“No,” Aaron replies after a few seconds, shaking his head. “Why would there be?”

Before Robert can say anything in response to that, a series of jangling noises and the thud of a door echoes from down the hallway and Aaron looks at Robert, eyes wide.

“Out,” he blurts, grabbing Robert and shoving him bodily through the door next to the fireplace, into the downstairs loo. The door clicks shut behind Aaron as he leaves, and Robert tries to get his bearings as he hears Aaron’s muffled voice through the door.

Drew’s back.

Robert rolls his eyes. Clearly Aaron doesn’t want his boyfriend to know that his ex-husband was in the house, so that leaves only one option.

Climbing out of the, frankly tiny, downstairs loo window is very undignified, Robert says to himself as he lands in a heap on the grass. “Ow,” he exclaims.

Sighing, he picks himself up, brushing mud from his jeans as he makes his way through the darkened garden and away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! Please keep letting me know what you think!

**15th February 2018**

“He’s definitely avoiding me,” Robert declares to Vic the following morning as he rocks from foot to foot in the middle of the living room, trying to settle Seb. “Drew is always there, and Aaron doesn’t seem to want to be near me anymore, it’s weird.”

“Drew does live there,” his sister points out from her seat on the sofa.

Robert pauses in his movements, looking at Vic, eyes wide. “You what?” He says.

“Drew moved in a couple of weeks ago,” she tells him. “Did you not know?”

“No Vic,” Robert says sarcastically. “I didn’t have a clue that my ex-husband has moved his new boyfriend into what used to be our marital home. How the hell do you know that and I didn’t?”

“Chas,” she says, as if that explains everything. It does, to be honest. “She mentioned it in the pub, was going on about how happy she is, how Aaron’s ‘got himself a nice bloke’ and all that.”

Robert rolls his eyes. “Of course she did,” he mutters. “Because in her eyes, anyone is better than me.”

“He does seem alright,” Vic says, swallowing hard when Robert glares at her. “I mean, obviously I think you and Aaron really suited each other but… we are where we are,” she adds.

“And what do you mean by that?” He snaps.

“You’ve got Seb,” she points out. “You’re a single dad now Robert, and you’ve always got Seb with you.”

The penny drops. “I’ve always got Seb with me… and Aaron doesn’t want to be there.” He sits down heavily in the chair, Seb wriggling in his arms. “That’s why he’s avoiding me,” he says. “Him seeing Seb… it’s hurting him.” He groans. “How have I been so stupid?”

“You’ve been preoccupied,” Vic tells him. “Sorting Seb out, settling him in… it’s not your fault.”

“I should have thought about Aaron’s feelings before I started taking Seb up to the yard with me,” Robert berates himself. “Aaron wanted a family with me, so to see me with Seb, and as much as I hate to say it, to see me with one of the reasons we broke up… oh my god I am so stupid!” He looks at Vic. “I need to go and apologise. Can you look after him for half an hour?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says. “Just leave it, you don’t want to hurt Aaron even more by pointing all this out, do you?”

Robert sighs. “I suppose not…”

“Good,” she says. “Look, I’ve got to go and get my new rota from work, when I get back we can work it out so that between me and Diane, you can go to work without taking Seb, yeah? While it’s all still so raw for Aaron, and then maybe in a few months time he’ll feel better about it and you don’t need to worry so much.”

Robert nods. “Thanks, Vic.”

She gets up, squeezing his shoulder gently. “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “It’s what family is for, isn’t it?”

**21st February 2018**

The problem is, despite the new ‘looking after Seb so Robert can work without hurting Aaron’s feelings’ rota, as Robert is calling it in his head…

Aaron is still avoiding him.

He’s started coming into work again, which is an improvement, but Robert strongly suspects that that is purely because Gerry had suddenly decided to move on, heading off to stay with a mate in Leeds who ‘has some lucrative opportunities’.

Robert hopes it doesn’t involve fireworks. He really, really hopes it doesn’t involve fireworks.

He’s got other things on his mind today than the well being of the residents of Leeds, however, and that is the fact it is a year today since his and Aaron’s wedding.

A whole year already. Doesn’t time fly, Robert thinks to himself.

The door to the portacabin crashes open, admitting Aaron in a flash of orange and black.

“Oh, hiya,” Aaron says, upon seeing him sitting there. “Didn’t realise you were in here.”

“Mmm,” Robert says. “Would you have come through the door any quieter if you had?” He quips.

Aaron snorts, shrugging and for a moment, for a split second it’s like they used to be, joking, subtle digs at each other with no intent, no malice behind them other than a promise to get the other back later on.

The moment is ruined at Aaron’s next sentence. “I’ll er, I’ve got a scrap run,” he says, starting to scrabble around for the keys to the truck.

Robert has seen Aaron’s diary; he’d left it open on the desk. He knows Aaron doesn’t have anything pencilled in for the rest of this week, let alone today.

“Oh?” He asks. “Whereabouts?”

Aaron pauses. Robert can see he’s trying to concoct a lie. “Other side of Robblesfield,” he blurts. “Old Tarwiths place, there’s some old farm equipment he wants rid of.”

Robert doesn’t doubt that there’s some old farm equipment where Aaron says. Problem is, ‘Old Tarwith’ has been dead for well over a year, so for him to tell Aaron… would be a feat in itself.

“Ah, right,” Robert says, going along with the lie. “Have fun,” he adds.

Aaron gives him a weird look, before heading out the door.

Robert sighs.

**22nd February 2018**

He’s thought long and hard, been up half the night trying to make a decision.

This can’t go on.

He owes it to Aaron, he says to himself as he packs his car, shoving bag after bag of baby things in alongside his own belongings.

He’s not going to be able to fit everything in, he realises. He’ll have to leave some of it, send for it later, or just not bother at all.

Vic has gone into Hotten for the day with Diane; he’ll tell them both when he’s settled somewhere with Seb.

It has to be this way. Better for everyone.

Especially Aaron.

Speaking of which…

“What you doing?” The man himself asks. Robert hadn’t heard or seen him coming up the road, having been too engrossed in trying to make everything fit in his, not exactly practical, car boot.

“I’m leaving,” he says bluntly. He owes Aaron the truth. “Me and Seb, we’re going today.”

“What?” Aaron asks. “But… where are you going to go?” There’s hurt in his voice, and Robert forces himself not to react.

“Dunno yet,” he admits. “See where the road takes us.”

“But… but why?” Aaron asks.

“Me being around… it’s hurting you,” Robert says, not looking at Aaron. “You’re avoiding me all the time, and Seb’s here and… it’s better for all of us if I’m not here. You deserve to be able to move on, be happy and that’s… that’s not going to happen with me still around.”

“So you’re leaving for my benefit, is that it?” Aaron says, incredulously.

“Not entirely,” Robert admits. “I can’t watch you move on with someone else. It’s hurting me too. I can’t do it. I’m sorry Aaron, but it’s better this way.”

Finally making everything fit, he rounds the car and opens the drivers side door. Checking on Seb, who is dozing in his car seat, he looks at Aaron one more time. “Bye Aaron,” he says.

Gets into the car and starts the engine.

Pulling away, he snatches one last look in the rearview mirror before he turns the corner.

Sees Aaron standing alone in the middle of the road.

He turns the corner, drives away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! So so appreciated. ❤️ Please keep letting me know what you think!
> 
> AN: Yes I posted this twice, screwed up my formatting first time around haha.

The Porsche speeds along the hedge-lined country lanes, Robert’s laser-sharp focus on the road ahead, his hands on the leather bound steering wheel with white-knuckled grip. He sniffs; tries not to let the tears fall.

Walking, or rather, driving, away from Aaron was quite possibly the hardest thing he’s ever done.

The look in Aaron’s eyes… he shakes his head lightly to clear it.

No.

Not thinking about it.

It’s better this way, he rationalises. Aaron can move on, and he can have a fresh start with Seb.

Why does it hurt so much though?

A gurgle to his left tears his gaze from the road, and he smiles at his son. “We’ll be alright, won’t we?” He asks Seb. “You and me, eh?”

He looks back at the road; keeps driving.

*

A few minutes later, he sighs again. The further he gets from the village, the heavier the doubts lie in his belly.

He doesn’t want to leave, not really. He’s only doing it to try and save Aaron’s feelings. After all, this whole situation… it’s all his fault isn’t it?

He slept with Rebecca. While very drunk? Yes. While being a total idiot? Beyond all reasonable doubt. Can he remember it? Not very well… but he still did it, and while he might regret the act itself, and how much it hurt Aaron… he doesn’t regret Seb.

Can’t. Despite everything, he loves his little boy, and it’s not his fault.

Another gurgle from his left and Robert shakes his head. The longer he drives the more uncomfortable he feels, the more wrong he feels.

Slamming on the brakes, he swings the car to the left, coming to a sliding halt in a layby.

Leaning forward, he rests his forehead on the steering wheel briefly, breathing out heavily. Looking up, he glances at his surroundings.

Starts to laugh.

Because of COURSE he has, hasn’t he?

Of all the laybys in all of Yorkshire, he just HAD to pull over in his and Aaron’s one.

The laughing becomes hysterical, even Seb looking at him with wide, confused eyes before he gets out of the car and goes to sit on the bonnet.

Looks to the sky. “Really?” He asks it. “Is this some sort of joke?”

The look on Aaron’s face as he left, as he drove away comes back to the forefront of his mind.

He can’t leave. He can’t.

Sighing, giving in, he gets back into the car.

Turns it around sharply, gravel spraying everywhere.

Drives back the way he came.

*

Aaron’s sitting on the stone wall in front of Keepers Cottage when Robert pulls up at the opposite side of the road. He looks up at the sound of Robert’s car, a strange look crossing his face.

Robert gets out of the car, glancing at Aaron briefly but not saying anything as he rounds to the opposite side, swiftly detaching Seb’s car seat from the passenger side. Picking up the changing bag from the footwell, he closes the door with his hip and crosses the road, pausing in front of Aaron.

“I thought you were leaving?” Aaron asks. Is that hope in his voice? Robert wonders.

“Changed my mind.” He answers bluntly. The flicker of hope in Aaron’s gaze is obvious, and Robert’s curiosity is piqued. “You coming in?” He takes a chance.

Has a feeling that everything, his, Aaron’s… Seb’s entire future even, rests on what Aaron does next.

Whether he comes inside… or not.

Aaron bites his lip, nods.

“Come on then,” Robert leads the way, unlocking the door and letting Aaron past before following him into the hallway. “I’ll go settle this one upstairs,” he says. The cot is still in his room, had had to be left behind. “Back in a minute.”

Aaron nods, heading through into the living room and Robert darts upstairs with Seb quickly. Thankfully, Seb seems to know that it’s important that he not make a fuss and settles down to doze off quickly.

Going back down stairs, he finds Aaron standing in the middle of the living room, looking more than a little bit lost. “Why did you stay?” Robert asks him. “On the wall, I mean.”

Aaron shrugs one shoulder. “Didn’t have anywhere else to go,” he says, his expression, for once, unreadable.

It’s a strange feeling, not being able to read Aaron’s mood instantly. Even during their affair, even in the early early days of their affair Robert had been able to read Aaron pretty well, and his skill had only improved over the years.

To not be able to sense what Aaron’s feeling, what he’s thinking right now…

Makes him feel more cut off from his best friend/ex-husband than ever.

Yet somehow, it all serves to fuel the feeling that he did the right thing by coming back.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Nothing,” Aaron denies, the mask slipping and Robert knows he’s lying.

“Come on,” he says. “This is me you’re talking to.”

Aaron looks at him, the mask slipping away fully, leaving only a bare, dejected, almost desperate look in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have come in,” he blurts, stepping forward. “I need to go.”

He tries to push past Robert, whose instant reaction is to stop him from leaving, his hand reaching out to grab at him, brushing against Aaron’s side.

Aaron sucks in a pained breath, and alarm bells start ringing in Robert’s head.

Instinct kicking in, he brings his other hand up, stopping Aaron in his tracks as he pulls Aaron’s jumper up, exposing his belly.

Aaron sniffs, looking anywhere but at Robert.

Robert stares in stunned silence at Aaron’s bared skin.

He’d expected cuts, burns, some evidence of self harm. It’s where his brain had immediately gone to, with Aaron’s history.

The dark purple and blue mottled bruising that smeared across Aaron’s entire right side, stretching across his midriff…

No. He hadn’t expected that at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -whistles innocently-


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your comments! I know it’s been a little while and I’m sorry for that, real life got in the way.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you’ll let me know what you think of this chapter. 😀
> 
> Chapter warnings: discussions of violence, abusive behaviour.

“How long?”

The words feel like sawdust in Robert’s mouth, his tongue thick as he forces them past his lips.

They’re sitting down now; Aaron on the sofa, Robert in the chair. Aaron won’t look at him, has had a sudden interest in the wallpaper for the last five minutes.

Since Robert had let go of his jumper in shock, letting it fall back into place.

Hiding the evidence.

“A while,” Aaron says quietly, still staring intently at the wall.

“Weeks? Months?” He knows Aaron’s been dating the bloke since the beginning of December, but he doesn’t know much else. “How did you meet him anyway?” He finds himself asking.

“Mum introduced us,” Aaron tells him. “He came into the pub one day and well… you know what she’s like.” He shuffles himself around on the sofa so he’s facing Robert. “As for how long… since just before my birthday.”

“So…”

“The first time was just after me and Cain broke Adam out,” Aaron explains. “He wanted to know where I’d been all day, I don’t know why but I ended up telling him the truth.”

“So what, he hit you for that?” Robert asks.

Aaron shakes his head. “He didn’t hit me that time,” he says. “That time he got angry… grabbed my wrists and shook me, shouting in my face about how stupid I’d been.” He breathes out, shaking his head. “I am… stupid.”

“No you’re not.” The instant reflex action, to stop Aaron from thinking anything negative, anything untrue about himself is still there.

“I am though,” Aaron says sadly. “I pulled away, told him to get out. Wasn’t going to stand for that, right? But then…”

“Then?”

“He apologised,” Aaron says with a snort. “Said he was sorry, he’d just reacted badly, worried about how I could have gotten in trouble too if I’d gotten caught. I told him, Adam’s my best mate, how could I not and he… he said he didn’t get it, he’d never had a best friend before so he wouldn’t know.”

“He made you feel sorry for him.”

“Oh yeah,” Aaron says. “Definitely managed that one. Then he goes on about how he didn’t understand why I’d come to you about the alibis and not him and… I said… I said that I knew you’d do it, that I could trust you to come up with something convincing.”

Robert nods. “He didn’t like that I’m guessing…?”

Aaron shakes his head. “Started going on about how I don’t trust him, why don’t I trust him, how he’s ‘put up with your ex always being around’ and what happened at Christmas and all that stuff and how he trusts me but apparently that’s only one way and…” He sniffs.

“He made you feel guilty.” Robert states, anger rising.

“Yep,” Aaron sniffs again, rubs at his eyes with his sleeve. “My Mum had been going on about how great he is, and it made me think… he’d waited until I was ready before we slept together, didn’t push me… he was so understanding about my scars, he was trying to make friends with my family and there I was hanging around with my ex, running to my ex for favours…”

“So you pulled away from me.”

Aaron nods. “I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I didn’t want to… but I felt like I had to, you know?”

Robert nods. “I thought something had changed around your birthday,” he tells him. “Couldn’t understand what though.”

“Sorry.”

Robert shakes his head. “Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault.”

Aaron smiles at him, a tiny, wet smile. “That’s why I was keeping away… at first anyway.”

“Things obviously got worse,” Robert points out. “What happened?”

“It was alright for a week or so,” Aaron tells him. “I thought it was fine, just a one off then I saw you in the street that day, outside the pub. He didn’t like that.” He shudders. “Liv and Gerry were out when we got back to Mill… he lost it. Had me pinned against the wall, screaming at me, accusing me of wanting to be with you, accusing me of cheating, wanting to cheat on him… all ‘cause I saw you across the road.” He breathes in and out shakily. “I denied it all, said it wasn’t true… then he punched me in the stomach and let me drop to the floor. Told me it was my fault, that I shouldn’t be hanging around my ex so much. Said ‘who does that unless they aren’t over them’.”

“Why didn’t you get out then?” Robert asks.

“He left after that… said he couldn’t stand to look at me,” Aaron admits. “I didn’t know what to do so I went to bed. Sat up half the night thinking things over… started thinking that he was right. Went to see my Mum the next morning, to see what she said and…” he trails off.

“And what?” Robert prompts.

“He was there,” Aaron says. “Helping her unload the delivery. She was going on about how helpful he is, what a nice bloke he is and… I didn’t say anything. Just smiled and nodded, let him take me home and to bed afterwards.”

“And after that?” Robert hates hearing it all, his blood pressure is getting higher and higher, he can almost feel it but he needs to know.

Needs to know what hell Aaron’s been subjected to this time.

“More of the same,” Aaron tells him, long since having given up wiping the tears from his eyes. “He’d be nice as anything in front of everyone, but as soon as we were alone… he’d be accusing me of all sorts. Flirting with a client because I was helpful, cheating on him ‘cause I was half an hour late back from work and he had to sit and wait. Ended up giving him a key after that just to shut him up. Giving me a smack when he didn’t like the answers I gave him, blaming me for ‘not being honest’ when I was telling him the truth…”

Robert listens quietly, speechless.

“I wanted to say something… but I didn’t know what to say. Everyone kept going on about how nice he was, welcoming him into the family, including him, saying how it’s so nice that I’ve found myself such a good bloke and… how could I say what was really going on? He kept telling me I’d brought it all on myself and I…” He sniffs again, shrugging his shoulders. “Did I?” He asks, meeting Robert’s gaze.

“No,” Robert tells him firmly. “This is all on him, you understand me? None of this was your fault.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Aaron says quietly.

“It was true back then, and it’s still true now,” Robert repeats, memories of two years prior fresh in his mind suddenly, of a different living room, of Aaron hurting in so many different ways.

“He got rid of Gerry after that,” Aaron says. “He’d told me that he had the builders in at his place so I said he could stay with me for a while until they’d sorted the place out, then he kept casually mentioning, wondering why Gerry was still around given everything, wouldn’t he prefer a fresh start somewhere else… and Gerry being Gerry took the hint. He’s not stupid, as much as he might act like it sometimes. He knew that he wasn’t wanted, not by Drew anyway, so he left. Then he did the same to Liv…”

“Liv?” Robert realises suddenly that he hasn’t seen her in a few days.

“She’s staying with her Mum,” Aaron tells him. “Supposedly for a couple of weeks but that was just what Drew said to get her to leave. He’s not keen on her coming back.” He wraps his arms around his middle. “Too tired to argue with him, too afraid of the consequences if I did so I just went along with it, like everything else.”

“Did no-one say anything?”

“Nope,” Aaron says, popping the ‘p’. “He’d wormed his way right in. Mum thinks he’s the bee's knees, Gran too. Paddy… Paddy just likes that he’s not you, which…” He sighs. “The whole family think he’s great. How could I say he’s not?”

“So were you just going to, what… suffer in silence?”

Aaron pulls a face. “Loads of people do, don’t they? Not like I haven’t before, is it?”

“Aaron…”

“What?” He says bluntly. “It’s the truth. I guess part of me was hoping that it wouldn’t last… he’d either calm down or he’d get bored and we’d break up, one of the two. But he didn’t… then last night…” He stops.

“Last night?” Robert doesn’t like the sound of that.

“He caught me looking at a photo of us, from last year,” Aaron says, almost resigned to telling him. “Our wedding photo. He erm… he lost it. I tried to explain, what yesterday was but it just made him angrier and angrier. He took my phone, smashed it. I said I was sorry, that I was just remembering, that it didn’t mean anything… which was a lie but I had to say something to try and calm him down… nothing worked. Then he said I had to prove it to him, prove that I was over you. Make it up to him…” He takes a sharp breath. “In bed.”

Robert’s blood runs cold. “Tell me he didn’t…”

“I wasn’t in the mood,” Aaron continues, crying silently, steadily. Robert isn’t sure if he heard what he’d said or not. “I really wasn’t in the mood but the look on his face… I knew that I wouldn’t like his reaction if I said no, so… I went upstairs with him. Let him take me to bed… then when I woke up this morning, all I wanted to do was run away. Run to you… then I see you packing the car… leaving the village… leaving me.”

Robert’s heart breaks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos! I’m so happy that you’re all still reading. ❤️ Please keep them coming, feeds the plot bunnies!
> 
> Chapter Warning: Mentions of Drew related stuff and dubious consent.

“I’m going to kill him,” Robert finds himself saying. He’s on his feet but he doesn’t remember standing, halfway to the front door when Aaron’s hand on his arm stops him in his tracks, drags him back.

“No! Robert please!” Aaron’s all but begging him, wide eyes filled with tears as he gives Robert a pleading look. “Please don’t.”

“He hurt you!”

“I know!” Aaron shouts back. “I know that,” he repeats, calmer, quieter. “But I don’t want you getting into trouble because of that, because of me. Please Robert… I need you here, not dragged down to the police station cause you’ve got into a fight which… no offence but you wouldn’t win.”

He breathes out, deflates. “Alright,” he acquiesces. “Alright. You’re probably right, I’m a lover, not a fighter aren’t I?” He quips, happy to see that it prompts a small smile on Aaron’s face.

“Mmm,” Aaron responds, tugging him gently back to the sofa. They sit down next to each other this time, legs pressed together.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron blurts after a few minutes of silence.

“What for?” Robert asks, frowning.

“This,” Aaron says. “Piling all of this on you… I shouldn’t have told you.” He sniffs, rubbing at his face with his sleeve.

“Hey,” Robert says firmly, getting Aaron to look at him. “You telling me was the right thing to do, alright? Don’t ever doubt that. You’re not a burden either, you aren’t piling anything on me. I’m glad you told me, now we can sort this out, alright?”

Aaron nods. “I’m sorry I was avoiding you,” he says. “Part of it was not wanting Drew to kick off and the rest…” he trails off.

“The rest?”

“I thought…” Aaron sighs. “I thought you’d be able to tell, just by looking at me. You always could tell when something was up, I’ve never really been able to hide anything from you and… I was ashamed.”

Robert sighs, shaking his head lightly. “Come here,” he says, tugging Aaron against him. Aaron goes willingly into his embrace, Robert’s arms wrapping around him. “You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,” he says into Aaron’s hair. “Him, on the other hand…” He grits his teeth. “He’s got plenty.”

Aaron sniffs. “‘M sorry,” he mumbles into Robert’s chest.

“You’re going to wear that word out,” Robert jokes. Aaron snorts, and Robert squeezes him tighter for a moment before releasing him. “I’ve gotta be honest,” he starts. “I was thinking you avoiding me had something to do with Seb,” he admits.

“Seb?” Aaron asks, twisting his face in confusion. “Why would I be avoiding you ‘cause of him?”

Robert shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. “It doesn’t make any sense but Vic pointed out that he’s always with me and… what she said stuck and I started to think that him being around was hurting you so…” He sighs. “I don’t know. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Aaron says. “I kinda get why you thought that but it’s not true, you know that yeah?”

Robert nods. “Believe me, I feel like a right prat now for not even thinking it could be something else. I should have paid more attention… maybe if I had…”

“I was avoiding you Robert, trust me it wouldn’t have made any difference.”

“Still should have paid more attention,” he berates himself. “I was so caught up with Seb, and seeing you with Drew, seemingly happy… it hurt, I’m not going to lie.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise Aaron, really.”

“As long as you know it was nothing to do with Seb, I’d never avoid you because of him.”

“I know.”

Aaron nods, offers him a small smile. Robert smiles back, and their eyes lock. Seconds later, Aaron’s lips are pressed against his own, soft and warm and oh so familiar. Robert kisses him back, losing himself in the feeling before coming to his senses.

Gently pushing Aaron away, he feels a flash of guilt at the hurt he sees in Aaron’s blue eyes.

“You don’t want me,” Aaron says, shuffling away.

“Now you know that’s a lie,” Robert tells him. “We’ve been here before, remember? I’m always going to want you, but this? It’s not the right time, you know that. You’re upset, and it would be wrong of me to take advantage of that. You were pretty much raped last night Aaron,” he points out.

“What? No I wasn’t,” Aaron denies it. “He didn’t force me.”

“He might not have forced you, but you just told me that you went along with what he wanted ‘cause you were scared of what he’d do if you said no. That hardly sounds like consent to me.”

Robert watches sadly as the realisation hits, Aaron’s eyes widening. “I didn’t… I didn’t even…” He stumbles over the words. “Why does this always happen to me?” He asks. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” Robert tells him. “None of this is your fault. It’s Drew’s, and before that it was Gordon’s. Their actions are not because of anything you did, believe that even if you believe nothing else, yeah?”

Aaron looks at him, his watery blue eyes meeting Robert’s fierce blue-green gaze. He nods, and Robert pulls him close, feeling Aaron’s silent tears soaking his shirt.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, been having a rough time lately. Hopefully it won’t be too long before the next update! Hope you’re all still reading, and as always, let me know what you think! ❤️

It takes a while for Aaron to calm; Robert’s shoulder is soaked through but he doesn’t say anything. Normally he’d make a joke, but even as it comes into his head it feels wrong.

He doesn’t want to scare Aaron off, make him feel like a burden even though that’s the last thing he is, last thing he’d ever be.

So he bites his tongue, just to be on the safe side, watching instead as Aaron yawns widely. “You tired?” He asks, stating the obvious he knows but he doesn’t know what else to say, to do.

Aaron nods. “Should go…” he says sleepily. “Home,” he adds, then catches himself. “No, not home. Can’t go there…” he shivers. “B&B. I’ll go there.” He starts to get up, Robert catching his arm gently.

“You don’t have to go,” he says. “You can stay here?” He offers. “Have my bed, I’ll sleep on the settee.”

“Won’t Vic mind?”

Robert shakes his head. “She won’t be back ‘till tomorrow, and even if she was back tonight it’s you, she’s hardly going to say no Aaron.”

Aaron considers it for a moment, before nodding. “Go on then,” he says.

Robert smiles.

*

“Shh,” Robert whispers as he opens the door to the tiny box room that has become his and Seb’s room. “Seb’s asleep.”

Aaron bites his lip. “I forgot,” he admits. “Are you sure this is alright?” He asks. “With Seb and everything…?”

“Of course,” Robert doesn’t hesitate to tell him. “I know I thought you had a problem with Seb… but you don’t, and I know that now and I want you to get to know him… if that’s alright with you?”

Aaron nods. “‘Course I do,” he says, smiling.

They creep into the room as quietly as possible, Robert checking on Seb as Aaron hovers by the door. “Still asleep,” he mouths. Aaron nods, kicking his shoes off and clambering into the small single bed. Robert goes to leave the room, pausing as Aaron waves at him. “What?” He asks, leaning in close to Aaron to whisper.

“Will you stay?” Aaron asks. “If you don’t mind… I just don’t want to be on my own,” he admits quietly.

Robert’s heart melts. “‘Course I will,” he answers, sliding into the bed next to him. Aaron shuffles to lie down, pressed firmly against Robert’s side, his warm weight soothing.

For all Robert hadn’t felt tired, he’s asleep only minutes after Aaron.

*

Aaron jerks awake; the last pieces of the nightmare fading quickly, phantom pains gone as quickly as they had appeared.

Strong arms are wrapped around him, and he’s pressed tightly against a muscled chest but the panic he usually feels, the feeling of suffocation, of being smothered and possessed isn’t there.

He feels safe. Warm. Secure and he can’t work out why.

The smell of Robert’s aftershave washes over him then, and he realises.

That’s why.

Tears spring to his eyes. He tries, but can’t control the flow and finds himself sobbing once again into Robert’s chest.

He tries to be quiet; somehow Robert hasn’t woken up yet but he soon feels him stirring.

“Hey, hey,” Robert says, maneuvering Aaron so he can see his face. “What’s wrong?” He asks. “Did something happen? Did I do something?”

Aaron shakes his head. “No,” he says shakily, tears like rivers down his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Robert runs a hand through Aaron’s hair. “You can tell me, you can tell me anything, you know that.”

“Had a nightmare,” Aaron finds himself admitting. “Woke up and then…”

“What?”

“I feel safe,” he finds himself telling him. “With you. I never did with him, but with you, you hold me so tight, just like he did but it feels good… feels right. With him…” He shudders. “It never felt like that.”

“Come here,” Robert says, pulling him close. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realise something was wrong,” he whispers into Aaron’s hair.

“Not your fault,” Aaron murmurs back. “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

“Always,” Robert tells him, pressing his cheek to the top of Aaron’s head.

*

Robert is awake first in the morning; the early night having him up and about just after five. Aaron’s still asleep, Seb too, though the latter had been awake three times through the night for various reasons.

Closing his bedroom door as quietly as he can, he pads downstairs and makes himself a cup of tea. Sipping it carefully, he eyes the clock and decides to be prepared, making Seb’s bottle knowing full well his three month old will be awake any time screaming for it.

He finishes his cuppa while the milk cools to the right temperature, before putting the empty mug in the sink. Checking the bottle, he makes his way back up the stairs, trying not to be alarmed at the fact Seb is still silent while internally freaking out.

Starting to panic as he reaches the top of the stairs, he all but jogs across the landing, bursting through his bedroom door to find-

Aaron sitting on the edge of the bed, Seb gazing up at him from his arms. “He woke up just after me, looked like he was about to start screaming the house down so I picked him up,” Aaron explains. “I didn’t do the wrong thing… did I?” He adds, looking nervous all of a sudden.

“No, no, of course not,” Robert says, smiling at the two of them.

“Okay…” Aaron says. “Just, you came in here like a bat out of hell.”

“Oh, that…” Robert stutters. “He’s… he’s normally awake by now and he hadn’t made a noise and… well…”

“You were panicking?” Aaron asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Robert says. “Just a bit.”

Aaron shrugs one shoulder. “Understandable,” he says. “You want to take him?” He offers.

Robert shakes his head. “It’s alright,” he says “Unless you want me to? He offers. Aaron shakes his head and Robert moves to sit next to them on the edge of the bed. “He seems to like you,” he points out, smiling at Seb’s happy wriggling in Aaron’s arms.

Aaron smiles at the baby. “Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?” He says with a snort. “That for him?” He nods at the bottle.

Robert nods, and Aaron takes the bottle. “You mind?” He asks. Robert shakes his head, watching with a fond smile as Aaron feeds Seb.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr! [TurquoiseTerrier](http://turquoiseterrier.tumblr.com) Come say hello! :)


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